Buzzword Bingo

We have a manager who isn’t a bright spark, but is a walking, talking Dunning-Kruger effect and likes to insert himself in projects and complicated pieces of work that are out of his depth, just so he can boast that he had a hand in the final result.

One time, I’m starting a meeting with some colleagues to set up a multi-phased and complicated piece of work. My shoulders sink when I see the manager walking into the meeting room along with those actually invited.

Me: “[Manager]… you don’t need to be here for this meeting. It’s just preliminary discussions.”

Manager: “Even more reason for me to be here! What better way to help steer the ship in the right direction than to be there when we set sail, amirite?!”

Me: “Uh… well… it’s just…”

Then an older coworker, technically not a manager but on the same position level as this manager, speaks up:

Older Coworker: “[Manager], this meeting really is a waste of your time. We’re just going to discuss ideation at this point, and then run those ideas through a limiter matrix using deterministic algorithms to determine the most pragmatic way forward. Waaaay below your pay grade. You might have a bigger IQ than there are stars in our whole solar system, so maybe best you just sit this one out and I’ll email you the meeting minutes.”

Manager: “I… uh… yeah, you know what, I have a lunch meeting anyway. I expect a detailed report!”

He walks out, smiling.

Me: *To older coworker.* “That was genius.”

Older Coworker: “I’ve figured out what works on him.”

Me: “Aren’t you going to have to send him a report now?”

Older Coworker: “I’ll send a sixty-page document of AI-generated algebra that he won’t read. We’ll be fine. You gotta learn these tricks to ensure that you never let a manager into your project who is often wrong but never in doubt…”