Er-Aunt Behavior

(I am stuck in the office waiting for my aunt to come get me from school. My aunt stalks in, mumbling about bad children. She and the secretary start to talk about general stuff when there’s a loud yell from the hall. We all look out the door just in time to see my cousin running down the hallway, wearing a towel as a cape and her swimsuit over her clothes.)

Cousin: “I AM THE NIGHT! Fear me!”

(Following close behind is the gym teacher.)

Teacher: “[Name]! You get back here this instant!”

(My aunt puts her face in her hands.)

Aunt: “Where did I go wrong?”

(From the down the hall, my cousin howls.)

Me: “At least it’s better than when we—”

Aunt: “NO! Do not try and make this better!”