Buy Bye

(It’s a slow day. The only customer is at the box office while I wait at concessions.)

Customer: “Where can I get a bottle of water?”

Coworker: *gesturing to me* “You can buy water at the concession stand right over there.”

(The customer walks up to my stand, grabs a bottle of water from the cooler, and walks towards the theater, ignoring me.)

Me: “Uh, sir?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Did you want to purchase that water you just grabbed? I can help you right over at this register.”

Customer: “Oh, the girl over there said I could take one.”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to need you to pay for the water.”

Customer: “But the girl said I could take one.”

Me: “The bottles of water are not free, sir.”

Customer: “But the girl said I could take one!”

Coworker: “Sir, I said you could buy one.”

Customer: “YOU NEVER SAID I HAD TO PAY FOR IT!”

(He slams the bottle back into the cooler and practically stomps his way into the theater.)

Coworker: “Wouldn’t the word ‘buy’ have the implication he needed to pay for it?”

Me: “And people wonder why I’ve lost faith in humanity…”