Butting In

(My job involves calling people to set up demos. During one such phone call, the following occurs.)

Me: “Hello, is [Wife’s Name] there?”

Customer: “No, she’s not at home right now. This is her husband.”

Me: “Okay, is there a better time for me to reach her?”

(Suddenly, I hear someone pick up the phone. It’s a child’s voice, and very audible.)

Young Voice: “Hello?”

Customer: *ignores her* “Well, what are you calling in reference to?”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Me: “I’m friends with [Friend], and she said your wife might be nice enough to help me out with something.”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Customer: *to his kid* “One second, sweetie.” *to me* “You know, why don’t I take a message?”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Me: “Yeah, that works, too.”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Customer: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [My Name].”

Young Voice: “Dad? Can you come upstairs, please?”

Customer: *to his kid* “Just give me a minute!” *to me* “And how do you spell that?”

Me: *I spell it out*

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Customer: “And your phone number?”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Me: “It’s [area code]—”

Young Voice: “Dad?”

Me: *says the next three digits*

Young Voice: “DAD? DAAAAAD?”

Customer: “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Me: *repeats the next three digits*

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: *says the next four digits*

Young Voice: “DAD!”

Customer: “Just a minute, please!” *to me* “Could you repeat that again?”

Me: *repeats the next four digits*

Customer: “Okay, so that’s [My Name] at [phone number]. I’ll make sure she gets that. Thanks.”

Young Voice: “DAD, I NEED YOU TO COME UPSTAIRS AND WIPE MY BUTT!”

Customer: *click*