But One Day They Will Be Back For Revenge…

(My mum’s already in bed reading as it’s quite late at night, but after I find a spider in my own bed I don’t want to lie down so I go see her.)

Me: “Finding a spider in my bed was exactly the way I didn’t want to start the night.”

Mum: “Oh, dear. Did you take care of it?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s dead. Now I’m just worried that all its spider babies live in my bed, too.”

Mum: “Well, they just watched their mother die, so they’re probably suitably cowed.”

Me: “You think?”

Mum: “Definitely. They’ll all run away from their mother’s murderer. Sleep well.”