Bun-Believable

Back in the late nineties, I worked at a Panera Bread. I remember when I had to go out back to ask the manager (who is very professional but also a great joker).

Me: “Hey, [Manager], can you come out front and say you’re Mr. Panera?”

Manager: “Uh… there is no Mr. Panera.”

Me: “Yeah, but this customer just said that if we didn’t refund her order, she’s gonna call Mr. Panera himself and have me fired! Apparently, he’s good friends with her husband. They even grew up together!”

Manager: *Sighs.* “Fine.”

My manager walks out to the front, sees the customer in question, and says:

Manager: “Ma’am, who is your husband? If we grew up together, he never mentioned you. Oh, wait, are you the wife who s*** her pants at her wedding? Oh yeah, you look like her. How’ve you been since… You know… the procedure?”

She did not wait around to hear what else my manager could come up with.