Bugging You Out

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 3, 2017

(I’m maybe ten years old. My mom and I go into a store so she can use the restroom. I’m sitting on a bench outside the restrooms, and the customer service desk is nearby. An old man comes up to me.)

Old Man: “Hey, kid.”

Me: “Umm?”

Old Man: “Do you know why you shouldn’t wear underwear from here without washing it?”

Me: “Um, no?”

Old Man: “Well, I bought underwear and wore it without washing it, and I got bugs down there.”

Me: “Okay.”

Old Man: “They make it overseas and ship it over from places like Uganda and never wash it. You know, they really should wash it, but they don’t.”

Me: *fairly terrified at this point* “Okay.”

Old Man: “So, those bugs from over there live in the cloth and then come out when you put it on.”

(At this point my mom comes out of the restroom.)

Old Man: “See that guy over there, at the customer service desk? He’s my grandson. If anything has bugs in it, you let him know.” *walks toward the desk*

Mom: “Who was that?”

Me: “I haven’t the faintest idea.”

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