Budgerigar: First Blood

(My budgie has recently started molting and is very irritable. This takes place over texting with my friend.)

Me: “Hey, [Friend], how do you make a budgie comfortable when they’re molting?”

Friend: “Try scratching her on the head or belly; it works with my one.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

(I scratch my budgie.)

Budgie: “SQUAWK!”

Me: “I don’t think she liked that.”

Friend: “How can you tell? Budgies love that!”

Me: “I’m bleeding.”