A Stable Relationship

Husband: “Can you please move? I need to unplug the vacuum cleaner.”

(I’m a little slow getting up, and he starts trying to drag the armchair in which I’m sitting.)

Husband: “You’re as heavy as a horse!”

Me: *evil glare* “You know, it’s rude to tell someone who’s trying to lose weight that she’s as heavy as a horse.”

Husband: *hugs me* “A cute little Shetland pony?”