Bringing Home The Bacon And Passing It To Your Spouse

Wife: “I don’t understand the excitement about bacon. I mean, it’s fine as a condiment in small quantities, but as, like, a central part of a breakfast, I don’t like it.”

Me: “Okay, we will be getting a divorce shortly.”

Wife: “Why? You can just have all of mine.”

Me: “Okay, we will be getting a divorce never.”