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Bring A Thing… Just Not Him

, , , , | Related | March 13, 2021

We are hosting a “bring a thing” party, as we call it. You have to bring something to eat or drink to share. We sort of take turns hosting, and with everyone bringing a little bit, it makes hosting not so expensive and makes sure any picky eaters are catered for. Plus, those who don’t want to host can still contribute.

That said, I honestly didn’t want to invite my brother-in-law to this one. He clearly doesn’t like social events that he doesn’t host. He sits on his phone inside while the party goes on outside. He refuses to talk to anyone, and he tries to leave as soon as he has finished eating.

He shows up with one pack of the cheapest sausages, suspiciously with the best-before date scribbled out. Unfortunately, this is not unlike him at all.

I fire up the barbecue and he’s first in line.

Brother-In-Law: “Burger, please.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. No one bought any with them.”

This is not a lie. Most people have drinks and sides, and some brought ribs, but they are still being prepared.

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, okay, I’ll have one of them.”

He points to the butcher’s sausages.

Me: “Sausage? Sure, two enough for now? Help yourself to salad and things.”

I pick out two of his cheap sausages and put them on his plate.

Brother-In-Law: “No, I meant one of those ones.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sure those are just as good. Who’s next?”

He sulked and barely ate his food. I felt a bit bad and saved him a few of the nice sausages and some ribs. I found a few burgers in the freezer and brought them out, too.

When I got back, I found that my brother-in-law had disappeared. He’d left without a word. Much later we heard secondhand that he had been whining about us and the lack of food. He admitted leaving early and going to a drive-thru! He didn’t come to any more of our barbecues — no loss there!