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Bright Green Alert!

, , , , | Working | December 12, 2019

(I work in an ice cream parlor. I am training a new employee, showing him how to measure scoops, proper sundae technique, and the like. I have just demonstrated how to ring up a sale for a family in the lobby when I hear a sound, a very particular sound that sends my blood cold. Everyone who has kids knows exactly what sound I am talking about. It’s that weird little cough-choke sound that means only one thing: vomit is nigh. I hurriedly grab one of the large empty ice cream containers, but I am too late. The adorable little moppet EXPLODES, producing an incredible –and actually rather impressive — amount of bright green vomit. Everything within five feet of the kid is doused. The parents are in shock. The new hire is slack-jawed and turns to look at me in horror.)

Me: *grinning and slapping him on the back* “So… guess who’s the new guy?”

New Hire: *slumps dejectedly* “Aww…”

Me: “Nah, just kidding. I’ll help. Let’s show you where the bucket and sanitizer are.”