Breast To Just Let It Run Its Course

(My wife is disabled, so I accompany her to a women’s clothing store. I have very long hair down to my waist, but also a full beard and mustache. My wife has gone into one of the dressing rooms and I’m standing with my back towards them just people watching.)

Woman: “Excuse me, ma’am, does this look good on me?”

(I ignore her, thinking she’s talking to someone else.)

Woman: *very loudly* “I said, excuse me, does this look good on me?”

(I turn around to look at her. She’s standing by the dressing room door and is topless, except for a very revealing bra. Upon seeing my facial hair and realizing I’m a guy, she lets out a scream and runs back into the dressing room.)

Women: *yelling from inside the dressing room* “HELP! HELP! I NEED HELP!”

(One of the employees of the store comes running up to the fitting room area to find out what is wrong.)

Woman: *still yelling* “THAT MAN SHOULDN’T BE THERE! This is a woman’s clothing store! HE SAW MY BREASTS!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he’s waiting for his wife. You shouldn’t come out of the fitting room without clothing on.”

Woman: “HE’S A MAN! THIS IS A WOMAN’S ONLY STORE!”

Employee: “Ma’am, his wife is disabled. He’s helping her!”

Woman: “I’m calling the COPS! He saw my breasts! That’s RAPE!”

(I hear the woman calling using her cell phone, and yelling that she’s been raped in a clothing store. Pretty soon, several cop cars pull up and rush inside. I figure it would be best to just stand there. My wife has now come out of the dressing room and is beside me in her wheelchair.)

Officer: “Ma’am, what happened?”

Woman: “That man there! He saw my breasts! That is rape!”

Officer: “Did he come into the dressing room?”

Woman: “NO! I came out of the dressing room to show my bra to someone and he was just standing there!”

Officer: “Ma’am, that’s not rape.”

Woman: “You need to arrest him!”

(This went back and forth and in circles for a while, with several officers standing around me, and the storage manager, and a large crowd of onlookers. Eventually the manager asked for the officers to remove her from the store. She refused and they had to drag her out kicking and screaming at them. They eventually handcuffed her and put her into the back of one of the cars, and she was still yelling “THAT MAN RAPED ME!”.)