Breast To Be Aware Of Your Surroundings
My dad, being a typical dad, has been known to throw an awful dad joke around or two. He usually does this in the comfort of our own home so as to avoid embarrassment of us, and himself.
Mum is making dinner, and we have a family friend over. My dad is unaware of this visitor, so he comes from work, smells the food in the hallway, and announces loudly as he enters the kitchen:
Dad: “Put those breast implants in my mouth!”
And then he locks eyes on our guest, who in turn locks eyes on him, and the world stops spinning for a moment. The rest of us (mum and my siblings) are trying not to explode into laughter.
Dad: “[Friend’s Name]! I… didn’t know you were here.”
Friend: “Clearly.”
Dad: “You’re here for dinner?”
Friend: “I am…”
Dad: “…”
Friend: “…so do I need to ask?”
Dad: “[Mum’s Name] is making chicken salad.”
Friend: “Yes, it looks delicious.”
Dad: “I… sometimes call it… uh…”
Friend: *Eyes widen.* “Breasts in plants!”
Dad: “…yes.”
Friend: “That’s amazing.”
Mum: “Don’t enable him!”
Dad started checking the rooms before announcing his dad jokes after that.
