Breast Milk Just Doesn’t Cut It Anymore

(According to my parents, I started talking at nine months old. This led them to be concerned about my younger brother, who was saying little more than, “Mama,” or, “Dada” at over a year.  Testing showed there was nothing wrong with his hearing, and the pediatrician advised my parents that all children were different and to just be patient with him. We’re all relaxing at home on a weekend, and my brother and I have been quietly playing together. Suddenly my brother stands up and toddles over to my father.)

Brother: *loudly and plainly* “GIMME A BEER!”

Father: *dying laughing*

Mother: “Well… at least he’s talking!”

(After that, my brother continued to speak in complete sentences. We’re not sure what caused the initial delay; my best theory is that he was waiting until he had something important to say.)