Breast To Just Quit While You’re Ahead

(I’m a vegetarian and one of my favourite veggie foods is meatless “chicken breasts” which, for some reason, are sold in the meat department with the boxes of frozen burgers and whatnot. I realize that it’s been a while since I picked some up so I decide to grab them, but I can’t find them in the usual spot. I go to customer service to ask about it.)

Me: “Hi, I was looking for the boxes of meatless chicken breasts that you guys usually have in the meat department, but I couldn’t find them in the usual spot. Do you know if they’re just sold out, or if they’ve been moved, or something?”

Employee #1: “Meatless chicken breasts?”

Me: “Yeah, they’re [Store] brand, in a blue box. They’re usually in the meat department, with the frozen burgers and stuff.”

Employee #1: “I have no idea. I’ll call the meat department.”

(She pages the meat department three times over the course of a few minutes, with no answer.)

Employee #1: “I’ll be right back.” *leaves*

(At this point it’s been almost ten minutes and my boyfriend, who’s been waiting outside for me, comes over to see what’s taking so long.)

Boyfriend: “What’s going on? Do they have them?”

Me: “I have no idea. She paged them like three times, they didn’t answer, and then she just left. I assume she’s gone to the back to find someone from the meat department, but she didn’t actually tell me anything.”

(My boyfriend goes back outside, and I’m debating giving up and just leaving at about the 13-minute mark when she finally comes back.)

Employee #1: “We don’t have them.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Employee #1: “We don’t have them.”

Me: “Well, you always used to, so… are they in a different department now? Are they sold out? Will you be getting more in? Or have they been discontinued?”

Employee #1: “I don’t know. They just said we don’t have them.”

Me: “Great.”

Employee #1: “Do you want me to go back and ask them again?”

(Keep in mind, it took her ten minutes to go ask them the first time, and I’ve been waiting for nearly 15, all told.)

Me: *sighs* “No, it’s fine. I don’t have the time. My boyfriend’s waiting for me.”

Employee #1: “Okay, sorry.”

(I start walking away.)

Employee #1: “WAIT!” *I turn back around* “Here he is; this is the guy you need to talk to.”

Employee #2: “What’s up?”

Employee #1: “She’s looking for those fake chicken breasts, the [Store] brand ones.”

Employee #2: “Oh, yeah, we don’t have those.”

Me: *internal facepalm*