Breaking Their Fourth Wall

(I am working in the deli of a grocery store.)

Me: “How are you? Can I interest you in some of our [popular ham] that’s on sale?”

Customer: “No, I need one-fourth of a pound of [other ham].”

Me: “Of course!”

(I slice a piece of the ham he asked for and ask him if the slice is okay and if he would like a sample slice.)

Me: “Okay, and you said a quarter pound, right?”

Customer: “No! I said one-fourth! You people do this every time! First, you try to sell me some s*** I don’t need, and then you try to trick me into buying more than I need! I said one-fourth of a pound!”

(I continue to slice his meat and let him rant. I finish slicing, hand him his meat, and wish him a great day. A few moments later, he returns and puts the ham back on the counter.)

Customer: “I thought a fourth would be enough, but it doesn’t look like it. I guess you’re not as bad as I thought. I’ll take the quarter, instead.”

Me: “Okay.”

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