Breaking Badly

(I work both cash and floor. My store has been having problems with a few of the registers, but tech support said they have resolved the issues. We have six registers, numbered as such.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], number one is down again, so hop on six, instead.”

(I log in and ring up items before I have to manually enter a SKU, which causes the register to freeze, then crash.)

Manager: “I’ll do a reset; go on four until [Coworker] comes back from lunch. Use my login, since you’re logged in on the frozen register.”

(I log in and continue ringing up customers. Everything is fine for ten minutes or so; I can enter items manually without issue. Then, four crashes.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], four just went down; should I hop on two?”

Manager: “Yes, but use [Other Manager’s] number, since mine and yours are still logged in.”

(I attempt to log in to two, and it immediately crashes. During this time, my coworkers on three and five have had zero issues with their registers.)

Manager: “Okay, stop touching registers. Grab your RF gun and start doing go-backs.”

(RF — radio frequency — guns are handheld scanners used to check locations of items in the store, inventory amounts, print new tags, etc. I grab my RF and start putting things back. Less than five minutes later, my RF gun freezes. I grab another one, and despite the battery being fully charged, it immediately goes black and won’t turn on.)

Me: “Hey [Manager], I think I just killed two RFs. Should I try going back on cash for a bit? The line is pretty long.”

Manager: *jokingly* “Okay, but don’t break them this time!”

(I log onto four and start ringing up customers. I’m in the middle of a return, and the register freezes.)

Manager: *sighs heavily, but jokingly* “Okay, go do go-backs again. I’ll ring. Don’t touch any electronic devices. Don’t go near any of the floor scanners or cameras.”

(I start doing go-backs again, only doing the items I know without using a scanner. I’m in the jewelry section when the security camera above me goes black. I radio my manager.)

Me: “Um, [Manager]? I think I just broke the security camera. I didn’t touch it, I swear!”

(The cameras hang from our over 20-foot-tall ceilings, so it would be impossible for me to touch them.)

Manager: “Are you a magnet or something? Go take a break, [My Name], and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.”

(My manager sent me home early that day — with pay — just so I wouldn’t break anything else. Now all my coworkers call me Magneto, though I haven’t had any tech issues since.)