Bready, Steady, Close!

(It’s closing time for the day, and I’ve gone through almost the entire closing routine; the remaining bread that wasn’t sold for the day has been picked up by a local homeless shelter, I’ve counted the register, and I’m just in the process of getting a broom for the floor when I hear somebody enter through the door. I look out into the store to see a woman standing by the counter, talking on her cell phone. I watch her for about ten seconds before she looks up from her conversation and sees me.)

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”

Customer: “But your door was open.”

Me: “Oh, I was sure I closed it.”

(The door is old and the lock can jolt back unless you give the door a push when you lock it.)

Customer: “Oh… ’cause your door was open.”

(She starts looking at the empty shelves, the empty glass counter, and the empty bread baskets. There’s nothing left that I can sell her.)

Me: “Well, we’re closed, sorry. We closed half an hour ago, and all the bread and buns have been picked up by a local shelter we donate to, and the register is closed and counted for the day.”

Customer: “Oh… Okay… Because your door was open!” *leaves*

(I lock the door properly behind her.)

Me: *to coworker* “What did she expect me to say? ‘Oh, of course, I was wrong; I thought we closed, but apparently we are open! Let me go and bake a new loaf of bread for you!’”