Brains Not Included

| Newton, IA, USA | Right | February 26, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is ***, can I get your account number?”

Caller: “Well, I don’t have your service. I just have a question.”

Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

Caller: “My remote doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that, but we are an internet company and this is internet tech support.”

Caller: “I know that, but why can’t you help me?”

Me: “We don’t do anything with TVs.”

Caller: “It’s not my TV. It’s my remote.”

Me: “Your remote for your TV?”

Caller: “No!”

Me: “Your remote for what?”

Caller: “My television!”

Me: “Okay…well, we still can’t help you with that.”

Caller: “This tech support is stupid! You are all stupid!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Caller: “I wouldn’t if you fixed my remote. The buttons aren’t making the television change.”

Me: “Have you tried changing out the batteries?”

Caller: “What do you think I am, stupid, like you? Of course I didn’t do that! It would shut the remote off!” *hangs up*

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  • Lord Retro

    I hate getting hit with service numbers because people are idiots with remotes. Going out 3 days later because they put the batteries in backwards, because they hit “input” and can’t figure out how to get it back, because they turned closed captioning on and can’t get it off, they changed the format and now they have black bars or it’s too zoomed in, etc.

    Where I work if you call in after we perform work and get a service call created withing 30/90 days (2 different metrics on our scorecard) it can potentially effect our pay for the next 3 months. Both numbers (30 and 90) have to be below a certain percentage of all closed work for the quarter to qualify for top pay next quarter (our scorecard previous quarter dictates pay level for following quarter). Mistakes happen which is why they don’t expect us to be perfect but it really stinks to be burned on customer stupidity. It’s only getting worse now that the call center reps have mostly stopped over the phone troubleshooting.