Boyfriend Won’t Save You From This Pickle

(My boyfriend and I are out at a bar after a big football game and have spent the better part of the evening drinking. I have a problem with word recollection without alcohol, but with that in the mix I sometimes fail at any sort of communication.)

Me: “Could I get an order of your fried pretzels?”

Waitress: “Uh, you know, I don’t think we have those but I could check with the kitchen staff to see if they can whip you something up.”

Me: *confused* “Are you sure? They’re on the menu.”

Waitress: “I don’t think so, but I’ll go check and be right back.”

(She leaves and returns.)

Waitress: “I’m sorry, dear, we don’t have any fried pretzels.”

Me: “What? No I want the fried pickles.”

Waitress: *looks at me like I’ve grown a third eye* “Well, those we certainly have. Sorry about the confusion.”

(She leaves.)

Me: *to boyfriend* “Why didn’t you say something?”

Boyfriend: “I mean you seemed so confident! How was I supposed to know you flubbed?”

(This is by far the most hilarious and embarrassing time this has ever happened to me, with or without alcohol.)