Bounce Them Right On Out Of There

(I work at a fairly high-end home furnishings chain. A woman comes into the store and I go to greet her.)

Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if you would replace a chair I bought here. I got it home, and two weeks later, it broke.”

Me: “All right, which chair was it?”

(She describes a popular chair style, which is made of highly durable reeds, loosely woven into the bowl-shaped seat.)

Customer: “Yeah, my kids were jumping on it, and then it broke.”

Me: “…”

(Here’s a tip: if you want the store to replace your expensive chair, maybe don’t let slip that it only broke when your children were using it as a trampoline.)