Bosses Abhor A Vacuum

(We have lost two coworkers in the last three weeks, leaving us severely short-staffed. My manager has been riding everyone about their work but in a manner reminiscent of a dog barking at shadows; it’s ineffective and annoying at best. Shortly after I clock on for the final closing shift of the day, she approaches me.)

Manager: “When was the salad case last vacuumed?”

Me: “Well, at worst I did it the last time I worked the final shift last week. I don’t know about [Other Coworkers] since I leave before they do.”

Manager: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yes?”

Manager: “Well, I was told the vacuum was broken.”

Me: *baffled* “If it’s broken, I had no idea about it. It’s been working fine.”

Manager: “Well, one of the service-clerks up front said it was broken.”

Me: “Huh. I’ll check it out.” *retrieves the mini shop vac in question, plugs it in right in front of her*

Manager: “This was like two weeks ago.”

Me: “Oh, heck no. I just used this in the last four days.” *flips the power switch and fires it up just fine, turns it back off* “Seems fine to me.”

Manager: “He said it had no suction.”

Me: *flips the vacuum back on and proceeds to show it has perfectly fine suction by sucking my glove visibly away from the palm of my hand while looking her dead in the eye* “Yep, still working.”

Manager: “Maybe he was wrong.”

Me: “Eh, maybe the hose was clogged, but I’ve cleared and washed it a few times in the last couple of weeks.”

Manager: *walking off* “Well, the case wasn’t vacuumed last night.”

(It wasn’t until hours later after she left that I realized she had called me out in front of my coworkers, expecting to catch me in some two-week cleaning lie, and was disappointed it backfired. This is made all the more ridiculous by the fact that I had only worked the final shift requiring the shop vac four times in those two weeks.)