Boss, Have Yourself A Merry Little Snickers

Boss: “Can you work on Christmas Eve?”

Me: “I mean, I’d rather not?”

Boss: “We’ve had callouts. Please? There’ll be a bonus for you.”

Me: “A bonus? Like, money?”

Boss: “Well… no. But I can give you a coupon for a free candy bar from the vending machine.”

Me: “The vending machine in the store?”

Boss: “Yeah!”

Me: “The vending machine in the store that hasn’t worked since June?”

Boss: “Okay, fine, I’ll buy you a candy bar from the store.”

Me: “Yeah… I’m gonna spend Christmas Eve at home, thanks.”

Boss: “How about two candy bars?”

Me: “[Boss], if you haven’t figured out that it’s not about the candy bars yet, then I can’t help you…”