Born Again And Talking Like You’re Born Yesterday

(My sister and I don’t get along very well. She’s a born again Christian, and I’m agnostic. I try to avoid religion because of this, but she always brings it up every time we meet for lunch.)

Sister: “I tell you, [My Name], you better hurry up and get it right. You never know.”

Me: “Never know what?”

Sister: “Never know when you’re going to meet your maker.”

Me: “…”

Sister: “I’m only saying this because you’re my sister and I want the best for you.” *looking around* “All these people are going straight to Hell when they die. Did you wanna be like that?”

Me: “Errrrrr… no?”

Sister: “Then you better start making some changes.”

(We continued eating dinner, with her dropping hints about converting to Christianity every few minutes and blathering on about how I’d better hurry up. It made me feel very uncomfortable, but I said I would so she’d be satisfied. A few months later, she got knocked up by her boyfriend, whom she’d met on the Internet a few weeks prior. At least she doesn’t blather on about religion anymore!)