Boldly Going Where No Relationship Has Gone Before

| | Romantic | September 9, 2016

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Star Trek, we’ve rounded up some of our best Trek-themed Not Always Romantic stories, to prove that you’re not alone when you’re looking for par’Mach in all the wrong places!

 

 

Looking For Par’Mach In All The Right Places

(I am rather geeky, and known to be very enthusiastic about the things I love, such as Star Trek, tea, and weekly board game night with my friends. My wife is generally much less so. We’re chatting online while I’m at work and she’s at home with the kids.)

Me: “How’s it going, love? Kids behaving okay?”

Wife: “Oh, yeah, everything’s fine here. Hey, this may sound strange, but I’m talking with [Board Game Friend] online, and how would you feel about having our game friends over on Sundays for Klingon High Tea?”

Me: “I… I’ve never loved you more.”

 

Kirk Is Married To His Ship

(My girlfriend and I are both women. She has never seen any ‘Star Trek’ before, but is interested in seeing the upcoming film. We’re in my basement watching the 2009 film. Kirk’s academic hearing starts. My girlfriend has literally seen two seconds of Kirk and Spock looking at each other.)

Girlfriend: “Ship it.”

Me: “It took you two seconds to latch onto the fandom’s most popular pairing, bravo!”

 

Warp Factor Love

(My boyfriend has been playing an online Star Trek game for weeks. One night, my mother calls when we’re together and he decides to hop on the game. I’m annoyed he’s going to play while I’m there, but he promises to get off when I hang up.)

Me: “I’m doing well, mom.”

Mom: “How’s [boyfriend] doing?”

Me: “He’s good too, he’s pl—”

(I glance up at the screen, and for the first time notice what he’s named his ship.)

Me: “Hang on mom.” *to him* “Did you name your ship after me?”

Boyfriend: “That’s your name, isn’t it?”

Me: “Huh…so it is.”

(I resume my conversation with my mom and we hang up. I get up and kiss my boyfriend’s head then sit down.)

Me: “You’re adorable.”

Boyfriend: “Since you know just how adorable I am now, does this mean you’ll let me play more? Technically, it means I’m spending time with you!”

 

Marital Tribble-ations

(My work is having a company luncheon, and I do not want to go. I don’t want to seem impolite, since I am still fairly new. I beg my husband to come with me.)

Me: “Please. I really don’t want to go to this by myself. I go to your work stuff all the time.”

Husband: “Yeah, but you like my coworkers.”

Me: “Please? I love you.”

Husband: *smirking* “What’s in it for me?”

Me: “Why should I have to promise you acts of intimacy?”

Husband: “Who said anything about that? I was going to make you promise to watch Star Trek with me!”

 

Much Odo About Nothing

(My boyfriend and I are super ‘Star Trek’ nerds, and recently both finished going through and watching EVERY episode from the original series onwards. We have both just finished watching the last ‘Deep Space Nine’ episode within days of each other. We start a conversation over text.)

Me: “You going to sleep? I’m going to re-watch a happy episode before I go to sleep. This last one was depressing.”

Boyfriend: “Night, love you.”

Me: “I love you, too. You mean the absolute world to me. I would never leave you to rebuild the morphogenic matrix of my people. I’d let some other shmuck do it.”

Boyfriend: “Best. Quote. Ever.”

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