Boldly Going Where No Family Has Gone Before

| Related | September 12, 2016

To celebrate the 50th anniversary of Star Trek, we’re rounding up all our best Trek-themed Not Always Related stories!

Take a moment away from your little tribbles eating you out of house and home, and enjoy!

That Sensitive Age Where Your Geek Comes Out

(I am female. I am trying to get my parents to let me see the new Iron Man movie.)

Me: “If you want, I could go with [male friend #1]?”

Mum: “I’m not so sure…”

Me: “I could always invite [male friend #2], and [female friend]?”

Mum: “Well, I suppose I could give you money, but you’d have to wait for the next pay-check.”

Me: “If only I had the same amount of dollars as I do rupees.”

Dad: “What?”

Me: “Rupees are the currency on a game called Legend of Zelda. They are easy to get, and I have lots of them.”

Mum: “I wonder… No, can’t be…”

Me: “What?”

Mum: “Nothing.”

(An ad for costumes then comes on the TV. A Star Trek uniform, complete with com-badge, is advertised.)


Mum: “Yep, that confirms it.”

Mum And Dad: “Our daughter’s a geek.”


A Mother’s Realm Of Fear

(My family is watching ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’. This particular episode includes a character named Barclay, who is selected as part of the away team, and must be transported during an ion storm. He has a panic attack, and refuses.)

Dad: “You know, if I recall, Doctor McCoy wasn’t too keen on being transported either.”

Me: *quoting* “I signed aboard this ship to practice medicine, not to have my atoms scattered back and forth across space by this gadget!”

Sister: “Why is Mom giving [my name] that look?”

Me: “Because she’s embarrassed that her daughter is such a Trekkie, that she can produce appropriate quotes on cue.”


Beam Me Up, Carter

(My adult daughter and I are discussing technology in general and 3D printers in particular. The conversation turns to replicator technology.)

Daughter: “Well, we have had nanotech for quite a while, so replicators can’t be far off.”

Me: “What does nanotech have to do with replicators? We need transporter technology before we can have replicators.”

Daughter: “What are you talking about? Replicators are basically nanobots. Like on Stargate.”

Me: “Oh, no. I was talking about replicators like on Star Trek. You know, for food and stuff.”

Daughter: “Oh my God! We are such Geeks! Dad would be so proud!”


That Is Not The Droid You Are Looking For

(I am playing a game of Trivial Pursuit with my cousins. I am about to read out a question from the entertainment category for my eldest cousin, who is 17. I am known for loving sci-fi shows and movies, whilst she thinks they are boring.)

Me: “Name the robot who paired with C3PO in the movie Star Wars.”

Cousin: “Umm…”

Me: “C’mon! You know this one; I’ve told you this about a million times!”

Cousin: “Uh… oh! Spork!”

Me: “Spork? Who the h*** is Spork!?”

(My cousin does the Vulcan hand sign from ‘Star Trek.’)


Cousin: “Close enough!”


Trekkies: The Next Generation

(My parents are, and have always been Trekkies. My childhood memories are of watching all of the seasons with my parents and brother before bed. I have just showed my mom a Star Trek meme about the dangers of being a red-shirt.)

Mom: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “You are a Trekkie, and you don’t get this?! You claim to have made me a Trekkie!”

Mom: “I didn’t make you this way! And it is strange that a 21-year-old girl is a Trekkie.”

Me: “You and daddy made me a Trekkie! It was not by choice!”

Dad: “What’s going on?”

Me: “Dad! What happens to red-shirts?”

Dad: “They don’t last long!”

(I am proud to be this man’s child.)


And The Children Shall Lead, Part 2

(I am watching ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ with my brother, who is six. He has watched ‘Star Trek: The Original Series’ with me before, but due to his age, I assume that he has retained very little of it.)

Captain Picard: *on TV* “…to boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Brother: “That makes sense.”

Me: “Hmm?”

Brother: “Well, ‘where no one has gone before’ means both men and women. But in the other show, he says ‘where no man has gone’ and that’s just men. This makes more sense.”

(Never again will I assume that he’s not listening just because he’s a kid!)

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