Blind Them With Science!
Customer: “Are these rolls fresh?”
Me: “They were baked a few hours ago.”
Customer: “I want fresh ones!”
Me: “These are pretty fresh, but if you want fresh out of the oven the next batch will be ready in about twenty minutes.”
Customer: “Twenty minutes! That’s ridiculous!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s how long it will be.”
Customer: “That’s terrible service! Why should I have to wait that long?”
Me: “Well the dough in the oven is waiting for the starch to transform, and when the surface reaches 265°F those amazing Maillard reactions will start to occur, all those sugars chemically reacting with the amino acids and other protein fragments to produce—”
Customer: “—fine! Fine! I’ll come back in twenty minutes!”
Me: “Excellent! The Saccharomyces cerevisiae should be dead by then!”
Customer: *Blinks, and leaves.*
