Blame Canada! Part 11

, , , | Right | August 19, 2020

Customer: “Okay, I’m in a rush and I don’t want to be difficult.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll try to help you.”

Customer: “Is anything here premade? Or is it fresh?”

Boss: “We make everything from scratch! All of our recipes, all of our sauces—”

Customer: “I don’t want any sauces. I’m just going to tell you what I want and you tell me if you can do that.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Is the chicken sliced? I want sliced chicken.”

Me: “Yes, we can easily do that for you.”

The customer looks at our house sandwiches.

Customer: “I want sliced chicken. I don’t want cheese. I don’t want the barbecue sauce. I’ll have the lettuce, tomato, raw onion, and lots of Canadian bacon.”

Me: “Okay, we can do that.”

Customer: “What kind of bread does that come on? Like a hoagie roll?”

Me: “No, it’s a round white bread, like a kaiser roll.”

Customer: “Can it be cut in half?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Wait, white bread? No, that won’t do.”

Me: “We don’t have wheat rolls, but we have whole wheat tortillas and I could put everything you want in the sandwich in the tortilla: the sliced chicken, Canadian bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion.”

Customer: “I don’t eat that Mexican stuff. What is a tortilla?”

Me: “It’s like a round flatbread, and it would be whole wheat.”

Customer: “Like that picture in the window? I don’t want all that gravy crap on it.”

Me: “We don’t put any gravy on it; it would just be everything you asked for the sandwich.”

Customer: “Well, what comes with the burrito?”

We discuss our burritos and what she does and does not want, continuing to be very specific with what she wants and making it very clear she does not want gravy — that we don’t even have — and that it must be cut in half.

Customer: “You can send that through. I’m not done ordering, though.”

I send the order. My boss sees and alerts me to the fact that the supplier of our Canadian bacon has burnt down, so we have none.

Me: “I’m sorry, I was just told we have no Canadian bacon due to the factory being burnt down.”

Customer: “Cancel my order.”

She abruptly turns around and leaves. I’m stunned since I just spent a good five minutes crafting her perfect sandwich. The next customer in line came in at some point during this.

Customer #2: “You have the patience of a saint.”

Related:
Blame Canada! Part 10
Blame Canada! Part 9
Blame Canada! Part 8
Blame Canada! Part 7
Blame Canada (Day)!

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