A Black Mark On Their Account

(I am in a voice call with my friend, who lives in the USA, for a game. She asks if it’s okay for a third person to join us, and I don’t mind. We’re chatting for a bit.)

New Person: “You’re not American, are you?”

Me: “Nope, I’m in the UK.”

New Person: “What… are you?”

Me: *confused* “Er… Human? I think”

New Person: “As in… English?”

Me: “Oh! I’m half Scottish, half Irish. I live in England, though.”

New Person: “Oh, okay.”

(I don’t think much of it. I’m more surprised an American actually asked that as most — including my friend when I first met her — lump them all together. Some time passes, during which she makes some odd statements regarding black people. I go to get a sandwich and find out that, due to the snow, Mum has had to get white bread. I don’t really like white bread that much.)

Me: *coming back to call, being overly dramatic* “Woe is me!”

Friend: “What is it?”

Me: “Due to the godd*** snow, [Supermarket] couldn’t stock up on bread. Mum could only get—” *dramatic pause* “—WHITE BREAD! DUNDUNDUUUUUUUN!”

Friend: “Gasp! Oh, no! How terrible!”

New Person: “What do you normally get?”

Me: “Brown. I prefer whole grain, but Mum can’t have it because of her teeth.”

New Person: *audible gasp* “But only black people like brown bread!”

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Who says I’m not black?”

(She drops the call immediately. There is a pause.)

Me: “I’m not sorry.”

Friend: *laughing* “You don’t need to be!”

(The new person blocked me, and my friend got messages from the person asking how she could play with a [racial slur]. She reported the person for racism, and as far as we know the girl got banned. For the record, I am not black; I said the comment because I presumed she was joining in with my silliness. It’s good riddance, in my opinion.)