Bizarrosaurus

(I take things very literally. If I say hello,and someone says, ‘what?,’ even if I know they haven’t heard me, I pretend they have and go on to explain that hello is a greeting. My friend is crashing on my sofa. I walk into the room.)

Me: *absently* “Roar.”

Friend: “…what?”

Me: *patronizingly* “Roar. It’s a…” *I realise what I’ve said* “…hello in… dinosaur?”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Yeah. I started that thinking I’d said hello. Then I realised why you said ‘what’ but I was too far gone to turn back.”

Friend: “This entire trip was worth it just for that one, ridiculous moment.”