Bitter In Her Resolve

(I’m having a half and half iced tea out of the can. My mom sees the can.)

Mom: “What is that?”

Me: “Half and half.”

Mom: “What?”

Me: “Half-lemonade, half-iced tea.”

Mom: “Let me see that…it looks like beer!”

Me: “It’s just iced tea!”

Mom: “It looks like alcohol!”

Me: “I’ve had two of them already!”

Mom: “That doesn’t tell me anything.”

Me: “I’ve had it before!”

Mom: “That still doesn’t tell me anything.”

Me: “Read the ingredients.”

Mom: “Five percent juice? What’s the other 95%?”

Me: *sighs and rolls eyes* “Taste it then.”

Mom: “No, I don’t want to get drunk!”