(Bi)tter (Bi)gotry

(I work at the bar end of a coffee shop. One day, two girls in their early twenties walk in and I overhear them talking about a popular TV show.)

Girl #1: “So I finally got to the pool scene! Officially ‘shipping’ Stiles and Derek, and I have no shame.”

Girl #2: “What? Why the h*** would anyone do that?! They aren’t gay!”

Girl #1: “Doesn’t mean I can’t like them together. Besides, Stiles is bi.”

Girl #2: “What? Ugh! I’ve lost all respect for that f**.”

Girl #1: “…he’s bi, not a f**.”

Girl #2: “That’s still a f**! It’s still a f****** queer!”

Girl #1: “I’m bi!”

Girl #2: “Oh, my God! You’re, like, gay?!”

Girl #1: “No! I’m bi! There’s a difference!”

Girl #2: “No, there’s not! I’m done with you, f****** f**!”

(By the time she storms out, the entire shop is staring at the first girl. She rubs her temple, and walks over from where she’d been standing in line, which is empty save for the person I’m just finishing serving.)

Girl #1: “Can I get a shot of tequila, or five?”

Me: “As long as you let me pay for them.”

(I asked her out the next week. Three months later, we’re still going strong. I’m male.)