Bitten By The Hand That Feeds You

(I’m cuddling my seven-month-old son as part of his bedtime routine. For weeks, he used to wake up ready to play at 3 am, so I used to tell him I was going to bite his bum if he didn’t go back to sleep.)

Me: “Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite, and I won’t bite your bum tonight if you do what’s right. If you don’t do what’s right, I’ll bite!”