Birds And Bees Blowing In The Wind

, | Related | June 10, 2014

(My parents have taken my sister and me to visit our aunt, uncle, and cousin in Seattle. They’ve been taking us around to interesting places all day. My cousin is about four, and I’m 12, when this takes place.)

Cousin: *waves an inflatable shark in my uncle’s face* “Daddy! Daddy! Make it big!”

Uncle: “I don’t give blow-jobs to sharks.

(My uncle puts the toy on top of the highest shelf he can find, then suddenly realizes what he said.)

Cousin: “What’s a ‘blow-job’? Daddy! Daddy! I want the shark! It needs a ‘blow-job’!”

(My dad is desperately trying not to bust out laughing at this point. We all hastily leave without buying anything.)

Me: *whispering* “Dad, what’s a blow-job?”

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