This Conversation Has Gone To The Crapper

(It is near Christmas. I am a student at the local university campus travelling home for the holidays and waiting for my bus when a complete stranger, a middle-aged woman, walks up to the bus stop.)

Stranger: “Do you know when the bus arrives?”

Me: “Sure, it’s ten more minutes.”

Stranger: “Okay.”

(The stranger takes a seat in the bus stop shelter. A few minutes pass.)

Stranger: “So, are you full of s***?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Stranger: “I know what you kids are like. You’d better have pooped before getting on the bus! It’s no good if you’re walking around with a bunch of turds in you!”

(I was so creeped out I decided to take a later bus.)