The Biggest Plague In This Store Is You

(I’ve just been getting over a nasty cold. I am still a little worn out and have a bit of a runny nose. Because of this, I have tissues with me and take care to use them if I need to. This takes place while I’m looking for dish soap and other cleaning products.)

Old Woman: “Excuse me, you need to leave!”

Me: “What? Why?”

Old Woman: “You’re disgusting, spreading disease all over the store; I will report you for this!”

(The woman then follows me around for five minutes, ranting and insisting I’m going to infect her, that I’m sickening and that I need to leave. I start out by interjecting several times that I have tissues with me, that I’m not really sick anymore, and that I’m just looking at cleaning products and not touching or being near food. She eventually leaves before quickly coming back with a confused-looking worker.)

Old Woman: “Here she is. Make her leave!”

Worker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What is it you’d like me to do?”

Old Woman: “She is filth. She’s been infecting the entire store, rubbing snot everywhere, and she will make me sick and I might die. Tell her to leave!”

Worker: “I can’t; she’s not doing anything wrong, ma’am.”

Old Woman: “I will file a complaint. I will have your job! And YOU!” *turns to me* “You make me sick and I hope you die.”

Me: *finally fed up* “Lady, shut up and leave me alone before I blow my nose on your ugly f****** jacket.”

(The worker started laughing, and the old woman left, screaming about how filthy I was and how I was going to kill everyone around me.)