Big Voicing Your Concerns

(On Friday and Saturday nights, customers tend to flood the store approximately fifteen minutes before closing. This means that, while I usually walk through the store individually giving people warnings, I have to shout a warning announcement in lieu of an intercom system.)

Me: “Lot of people in the store right now, [Coworker]. Should I walk through the store and use my big voice?”

Coworker: “Uh… your big voice?”

Me: “Oh, you haven’t heard it yet! Yeah, I have a very loud voice that I use to give people their ten or five minute warnings. It doesn’t always work, though.”

Coworker: “You can try it. Do whatever you want.”

(Sure enough, I decide to loudly yet politely announce both ten minute warnings and five minute warnings from the register that can be heard throughout the entire store. Right after the five minute warning, all but one customer files out of the store, so I privately ask the customer to leave and remind her of our opening hours the next morning.)

Coworker: *sees how empty the store* “Wow, your voice worked! Normally we can’t get people out until five to ten after closing!”

Me: “Not bad, huh? Though that means it’s only a 50-50 success rate at the moment.”

Coworker: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Last time I tried it, the customers just stared at me like I had two heads and then returned to looking at books. I had to tell them we couldn’t run any more purchases because we had pulled our drawers, and that got them to leave.”

Coworker: “People. I swear.”