Big Brother Needs To Know What Socks You’re Buying

(I work at a large retail department store chain where, in every transaction, we have to ask a customer if they have a [Store] card, which sends them discounts and coupons. A husband and wife in their sixties come into my line.)

Me: *rings up items* “Your total today comes to [total]. Do you have a [Store] card?”

Husband: *to his wife* “I don’t know. Do we have one?”

Wife: “Yes, if you could look up our phone number we have it under, please.” *gives her phone number*

Me: *enters the phone number, repeat the total purchase price*

Husband: “That’s just Big Brother’s way of watching what you buy.”

Me: *sort of shocked* “Sir, it’s actually just to send you coupons and discounts; we don’t keep any sort of record of what the customer buys with the [Store] Card.”

Husband: “I see that they already have you trained to be one of them.”

Me: “Excuse me? One of who?”

Husband: “Big Brother, the government. They’re always watching.” *finishes up paying with his debit card* 

Me: “Um, I just cashier…” *prints off the receipt and quickly hands it over* “Thank you and have a nice day!”

(The wife looks shocked and dumbfounded at what her husband has just said.)

Husband: “Come on. Let’s get out of here before they try anything else.”