Bi-rates Are Fans Of Seamen

(I’m in my room, working on my computer, when my sister suddenly bursts in.)

Sister: “Hey! You know that pirate mug you have in the cupboard?!”

Me: “Uh, yeah?”

Sister: “Well, I wanted to tell you that I thought it said ‘Bi-rate,’ not pirate. See the ‘P’ looks like a ‘B’ at first, but it actually isn’t. But I thought that was cool!”

Me: “What’s a Bi-rate?”

Sister: “Because you’re bisexual!”

Me: “…”

Sister: “You’re bisexual, and I thought it said ‘Bi-rate,’ and I just thought it was an awesome mug! Where’d you get it?”

Me: “A friend picked it up for me at Disney World. It says ‘Pirate Princess.’”

Sister: “Yeah, I know. But I thought it said ‘Bi-rate,’ and puns are the highest form of humor!”

Me: “Okay… do you need to borrow it?”

Sister: “Nope! Just wanted you to know I thought it was a cool mug!”

(So, for the record: yes, I’m bisexual and I like pirates, my sister is an English major and somehow thinks “Bi-rate” is a pun, and I’m fairly certain it was said that “punning is the lowest form of humor.” And no, I still have no clue what it was all about.)