Beware The People Of Tottenham

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2020

Me: “Hello.”

Customer: “N17.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I’d like to buy [circular saw] and [nail gun].”

Me: “Okay, let me get you logged in. What’s your surname?”

Customer: “N17.”

Me: “No, your surname.”

Customer: “I’ll give you my postcode.”

Me: “I need both. Give me your surname first.”

Customer: “N17.”

Me: “Right, N17. And your surname?”

Customer: “N17.”

Me: “No, I’ve got that. I need your surname.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Your surname. Your second name. Family name?”

Customer: “Oh, right.”

Pause.

Me: “Surname?”

Customer: “Steven.”

Me: “Right… Oh, that’s not showing anything. Do you have an account here?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Okay, let me try something else. Do you work for a company maybe?”

Customer: “No, I don’t work.”

Me: “Okay… Let’s try your street address.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “What street do you live on?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “Just do the postcode.”

Me: “That’s not enough to go on. What street do you live on?”

Customer: “I can’t remember.”

Me: “Right, let’s try your first name.”

Customer: “My name?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Customer: “Steven.”

Me: “Your name is Steven Steven?”

Customer: “What? No.”

Me: “So what’s your name?”

Customer: “Steven.”

Me: “Steven what?”

Customer: “Steven… N17.”

Me: “Sorry, did you say you wanted to buy power tools?”

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