Better Start Learning To Ctrl+S On Prints-iple

I used to work at the tech support desk in a university library. This is back when personal computers were still new enough that it wasn’t guaranteed that everyone was proficient, but it was at least expected that students knew how to use a word processor.

During finals week, a very loud student storms up to the tech help desk, already on the edge of a meltdown.

Student: “Your printer is garbage! It just ate my paper! I need this printed for my final project, and now it’s RUINED!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. If it jammed, we can fix it and—”

Student: “—No, I don’t want it fixed, I want compensation. I lost my ONLY copy of the paper and now it’s GONE!”

Me: “Didn’t you save it? Or email it to yourself?”

Student: “Why would I do that?! That’s what printers are for!”

Me: “…to destroy your only copy?”

She stands there with her arms folded, staring me down like I’m supposed to grovel. Because of all the noise, a friend of the student has walked over, asking what’s going on. As the student explains to her friend how I am all kinds of incompetent, I pull the jammed paper from the printer. It’s crumpled but still very much intact. I hold it up. The friend takes it from me and starts reading it.

Student’s Friend: “Hey, this is still legible! Wait… [Student’s Name]… this is the first draft you showed me last week. You haven’t done anything to it since then?”

Student: “…I’ve been busy.”

Student’s Friend: “The printer didn’t eat it. It tried to save you from submitting it.”