Better Have A Big Fat Apology, Part 2

| Friendly | July 29, 2015

(A few classmates and I are chatting about our weekend before class starts. A guy sitting near us, who we don’t like to talk to due to the uncomfortable things he says, pipes in about his new girlfriend. Curious how a guy like him got a girlfriend, we humor him and started asking questions.)

Friend #1: “So… is she pretty?”

Weird Guy: “Yeah! She’s so hot.”

Friend #2: “What does she look like?”

Weird Guy: “She’s got brown hair.”

Friend #2: “And?”

Weird Guy: “She’s tall. A little taller than me, actually.”

Me: “Cool! What else? Describe how she looks! We want to know!”

Weird Guy: “Well… she’s got blue eyes. Uh, nice teeth. She’s, uh… she’s not really fat, but not really skinny. She’s kinda on the bigger side though… kinda like [My Name]!”

(All of the girls in the conversation gasp, realizing that he called me, at 5’0″ tall and 100 pounds “on the bigger side.” They look at me with open mouths, expecting me to be offended. I laugh.)

Me: “I hate to break it to you, dude, but if you consider me ‘on the bigger side,’ you’ve got some messed up standards.”

Weird Guy: “I… well… I didn’t say she was fat… because you’re not fat…” *long pause* “She lives out of state so you guys wouldn’t know her. She’s really pretty though. Like [My Name]. She’s not fat.”

(We all laugh about it and they remark about how awesome it is I wasn’t offended. We decided he’s best just ignored for the remainder of the year.)

 

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