Best… Valentine’s Day… Ever!
Customer: “Can I make, like, a group booking for an anti-Valentine’s Day party?”
Me: “Uh… that’s over six months away.”
Customer: “Yeah, I know, but I’m sure that’s normally a very busy night for you. I wanted to be considerate and get a booking in now.”
Me: “For how many people?”
Customer: “Sixty.”
Me: “Sixty! Like, six-oh?”
Customer: “Yup!”
Our restaurant seats sixty people exactly. I feel like this guy already knows this.
Me: “Let me get my manager.”
I go get my manager and inform him of the request.
Manager: “So you’re effectively asking to book out the entire restaurant?”
Customer: “Yup! Is that doable?”
Manager: “I mean, technically yes but there’s a separate booking process for that. You’d have to commit to a minimum spend with a sizeable and non-refundable deposit.”
Customer: “That’s totally fine. I understand it would be a busy night for you so I don’t want you to be out of pocket as a result. How much is it?”
Manager: “I don’t know off the top of my head. It’s been a long time since we had the entire place booked. I’ll need to call the owner.”
Customer: “That’s cool. Whatever you need to do!”
The manager goes to the side and makes a call. He puts the owner on with the customer, who agrees to all the conditions happily and willingly. The booking is made, and we ask if he’d like us to provide anything special since it’s a special booking, but he insists all we’d need to do is provide the regular menu and allow them to bring their own cake.
I’d almost forgotten about this exchange until six months later and the week before Valentine’s Day rolls around and we all start to prepare for this mysterious party we’ll be hosting.
We put up signs saying we’ll be closed on February 14th for a private booking, and have to field a lot of disappointed phone calls from customers wanting to make romantic bookings.
Valentine’s Day hits and the guests start pouring in. They’re an eclectic bunch, all ages and genders, some couples, some singles. They’re all dressed very comfortably, nothing fancy or designer, lots of cosy jumpers and loose-fabric trousers.
The original guy who made the booking shows up early to bring some balloons, most containing images of Cupid being chased away by fairies and witches.
What we end up hosting is the cosiest of evenings we’ve ever hosted. Some of the group are just reading in the corner, some are playing board games, some have moved some chairs around the fireplace and are engaged in merry conversation.
Everyone orders a meal, everyone drinks their fill, and everyone is respectable and well-behaved. It’s almost like we’re hosting a social club instead of a restaurant.
The manager eventually corners the original customer and asks:
Manager: “So… I understand it’s none of my business, but what occasion are you celebrating here?”
Customer: “I run a mental health group at the community centre. It’s a lot of neurodivergent people who can get a bit lonely at times. Valentine’s Day hits some of them pretty hard as we’re bombarded with signs we should all be in loving relationships by now or we’re failing for some reason. So I figured, f*** that, I’m going to make sure everyone in the group knows they’re not alone on Valentine’s Day, even if they want to be alone.”
Manager: “Not gonna lie, that’s pretty amazing.”
Customer: “Also, just so you know, I know they haven’t ordered enough for the minimum spend. They don’t have a lot of cash between them so I told them to give me twenty quid each and that would cover everything. I’ll still make sure you’re all golden by the end of the night.”
Manager: “Uh… are you sure? That would put you out of pocket by… uh… well, a lot.”
Customer: “It’s all good. I budgeted for it!”
While they cut and serve the cake (which is a giant slab cake containing the giant text “YOU ARE LOVED EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR” on it), the manager calls the owner to give him an update on how the night is going.
The owner told him to charge the guy £20 per person and no more.
Best and easiest Valentine’s Day shift ever! I hope they make it a regular thing!
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