Best To Couch Your Criticism

, , , | Working | December 5, 2012

(I’m moving into a new apartment building, and one of my neighbors is helping me move a heavy couch up the stairs. While we are moving the couch, the building maintenance man gets in our way and will not move. Note: I am a male in pretty okay shape, and my neighbor is female and also in good shape.)

Maintenance Guy: *to my female neighbor* “Hey, fata**! I need a word with you.”

Me: “Could you move, please, [Maintenance Guy]? Just so we can get up to the landing and put the couch down.”

Maintenance Guy: “Just hold onto it. Worthless fata**es like you could stand to burn the extra calories that holding something heavy takes.”

Me: “Hey, buddy back off, man. She’s not fat.”

Neighbor: *to me* “Oh, don’t bother… He’s not worth listening to… about anything.”

Maintenance Guy: *to my neighbor* “SHUT UP! I SAID I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!”

Neighbor: “Fine, talk then.”

Maintenance Guy: “You turned in a request to have a light fixture fixed.”

Neighbor: “Yes, I did. My roommate and I need the light in that room.”

Maintenance Guy: “Well, I can’t fix it until you get rid of your cat.”

Neighbor: *frowning* “Excuse me?”

Maintenance Guy: “I’m mildly allergic to cats. So you have to get rid of that stupid beast.”

Neighbor: “I’ll just fix if myself if you can’t take allergy meds like a normal person.”

Maintenance Guy: “Women can’t do electrician stuff!”

Me: “That’s not true. My girlfriend’s an electrician.”

Maintenance Guy: “No, she isn’t! Women can’t be real electricians! It’s not possible.”

(My neighbor sets the couch legs down on a step so it remains even, and turns it around to face him.)

Neighbor: “How’s about you take your worthless ideas and get out of here, hmm?”

Maintenance Guy: “What’re you gonna do about it, b****?” *takes a swing at her*

(Long story short, she kicked his a** without knocking me and the couch down the stairs. The maintenance man ended up getting fired for feeling up another female tenant and last I heard he’d been arrested.)

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