(Our offices are on the eighth floor of a building. The upper floors are occupied by an art school.)

Student #1: “Oh, wow. The elevators on this side of the building are really small.”

Student #2: “No, they’re not. It’s just their size that makes them look small.”

Me: …

(I’ve been out of town for the last six days on a trip. I’m walking up the concourse to where my boyfriend is waiting for me. I hug him, then he drops to one knee.)

Him: “You know, we’ve only been together for five months. I know this is short notice, but the last six days have been hell and have really reaffirmed that I can’t live without you in my life. I want to spend my life with you and…”

(He pauses for breath and pulls out a Ring Pop.)

Him: “…I really want to be with you and I know I can’t afford much, but will you marry me?”

(At this point, other people are watching. Neither of us really cares as I attack-hug him with kisses.)

Me: “Yes!”

(I still have the ring from the Ring Pop, and we’re still together. The date is picked and rapidly approaching!)

(Note: our bathrooms decided to back up and so we had to lock them.)

Customer: “Can you unlock the bathroom?”

Me: “Sorry, they are out of order.”

Customer: “What do you mean!? I need to go!”

Me: “The bagel shop next door has a bathroom that they’ll be glad to let you use.”

Customer: “There used to be a day when the customer was always right!” *storms off*

Me: “Can I start you off with something to drink?”

Half-Deaf Customer: “I’D LIKE THE FISH!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, can I get you something to drink?”

Half-Deaf Customer: “HE’LL TAKE THE STEAK!”

(An older customer walks into the store. We usually try to greet every customer as they walk in.)

Me: “Hi!”

Customer: “Hi there. How are you?”

Me: “I’m pretty good. How about yourself?”

Customer: “Well, you might as well say you’re freaking fantastic, because no one really cares how you are anyways!” *walks off*