Lady customer: “Where’s your boy stuff?”

Me: “We don’t really have any. This store is mainly targeted for girls.”

Lady customer: “WELL YOU SHOULD!”

(Due to a broken water line in the apartments above, our copy shop has been flooded and needs to be closed. All power to the building is shut off and we are currently trying to clean up the mess. Despite this, a customer walks past the barricade and orange cones. I find her standing at one of the copy machines in ankle-deep water while wearing high heels.)

Customer: “Why aren’t your machines on?”

Manager: “Ma’am, the store is flooded.”

Customer: “But your doors are unlocked! Everything should be on!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we are currently in the process of removing everything that was damaged, so we need the doors unlocked to take stuff out.”

Customer: “Well, this is terrible. I’m contacting your corporate office. If your doors are unlocked, everything should be working!” *storms out*

(I work at guest services aboard a cruise ship that does five-day cruises to Canada. We get pretty wacky questions sometimes. A man comes up to the desk.)

Guest: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Guest: “Where does the water in the pools come from?”

Me: “We actually convert seawater into freshwater and put it into the pools.”

Guest: “Oh, so that’s why the water’s splashing so much!”

(My boss is seriously computer illiterate. I am changing careers and have given my two weeks’ notice. I’m compiling notes for the next person to take the position when my boss comes by.)

Boss: “I can’t figure out this system. Come in here and show me how to fire you…”

(I ended up doing the work for her, making me the only person I’ve ever heard of who’s fired herself!)

(I am a female customer at a local comic shop. I spend at least $20 a week there, usually buying ‘manly’ things like X-Men or Deadpool. This employee always assumes they’re for my boyfriend, and I ALWAYS correct him.)

Me: “Ooh, you guys have the Sailor Moon re-release? Can you set aside a book for me each time one comes out?”

Employee: “Sure.”

Me: “Are you sure they won’t run out?”

Employee: “Who else would even want one besides you?”

Me: “Well, it’s literally the most popular manga of all time, across the world, with both genders. A lot of people will want to buy it now that’s it’s in English again.”

Employee: *laughs* “Yeah, sure they are. It’s for GIRLS! Nobody will EVER want them!”

Me: *speechless*