(I’ve been trying to get a package from the post office for three days in a row, but I always get there after closing. On this night, I’ve asked my boss to quit early so I can get there before closing. I arrive at 4:55 pm.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick a package that was left for me three days ago. I’ve received this notice saying I had to pick it up here.”

(The clerk looks at my notice and then walks into the back store. A couple of minute pass before the clerk returns. It’s now past 5 pm and it’s clear she’s ready to head home; she has her jacket, purse, and keys in her hand.)

Clerk: “Eh… sorry, we’re closed.”

Me: “I was here five minutes ago. I need to pick up a package that was left for me.”

Clerk: “Well, you should have come earlier.”

Me: “I was here earlier. I was just in front of you and you saw me before walking into the backstore and getting ready to go. Can you just give me my package? I don’t even need to pay a duty fee.”

Clerk: *locks the backstore* “Sorry, I can’t. The backstore is locked.”

Me: “You just locked it… unlock it and give me my package, please. It’s been three days that I’ve tried to get in here before your closing time.”

Clerk: “Sorry, I can’t. The system is shut off and I don’t want to reopen it. You should have come earlier. We were open since 11 am.”

Me: “Okay, you closed your system BEFORE the end of your shift, and now you blame me for not coming earlier. I was at work. How could I have come earlier?”

Clerk: “Not my problem. Come tomorrow!”

(A girl sends me her number. We both work irregular hours, so it takes a bit of awkward phone tag to get in contact. One early morning at 4 am, I get a phone call.)

Me: “[Her name]!”

Girl: “Uh… you.. you’re awake?”

Me: “Um… I guess so? Why, what time is it?”

Girl: “4 am. I was just expecting to leave you a message.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, what was the message?”

Girl: “Uh…”

Me: “…”

Girl: “Yeah…”

Me: “This is kinda awkward.”

Girl: “This is definitely awkward.”

(After some awkward breaking of the ice, we do chat for a bit, and then again later in the day. Thankfully we’re both rather weird and seem to be hitting it off. We make plans to see each other at another of the sporting event which is coming up in a few weeks. While talking about ourselves and sharing some hobbies, she gets a little evasive, and mentions that she has a bit of a bombshell that she should probably mention early, but is hesitant to say. I eventually pry it out of her.)

Girl: “I’m pretty into BDSM.”

Me: “Ah, neat.”

Girl: *surprised* “You’re not weirded out?”

Me: “Nah, I mean, I’m not specifically into it personally, but I have nothing against anyone else being into that.”

Girl: “Yeah, I’m actually planning to go to a convention after the [sporting event], but I might have to skip this one. I’ll be spending the night at my sisters place, and won’t have a ride from one to the other.”

Me: “Well, I’ll be going to the [sporting event], and I don’t plan on working the next morning, so I should be up all night. I could take you there.”

Girl: “You mean like a date?”

Me: “Sure, why not?”

Girl: “This is going to be the weirdest first date ever.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sure…”

(And that’s how our first date ended up at a bondage convention.)

(This takes place on Christmas Eve at a 24-hour store. It’s around ten in the morning. The coworker I’m talking to is rather childish and no one really enjoys working with him. This takes place as we’re stocking some stocking stuffer items.)

Coworker: “Man, this sucks.”

Me: “Eh, it’s not so bad. Tomorrow is probably going to be a nightmare during the evening, but it’s not so bad right now. Aren’t you only working till noon anyhow?”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I shouldn’t be here at all.”

Me: “Some people are working tomorrow. Working a few hours on Christmas Eve isn’t so bad.

Coworker: “Says you! You get to be off for a week after today!”

Me: “Yes, that’s because I didn’t wait until three days ago to put in for time. You’re lucky you got tomorrow off at all.”

Coworker: “I shouldn’t be forced to work any holiday!”

Me: “Why not? The first year I worked here I worked every single holiday. It sucked, but you do what’s required of you. I put in for time. That’s why I got it for this year.”

Coworker: “I put in for time! I should get it! What makes you so special that you get time off around the holidays!? You put in for time, same as me, so why did YOU get it and I didn’t?!”

Me: “I put in for it in January.”

Coworker: “Oh…”

(The assistant Manager has overheard our conversation and comes over.)

Assistant Manager: *to me* “I think we got this if you wanna take off early.”

Coworker: ‘But I’m scheduled to leave before her today. You should send me home!”

Assistant Manager: “As much as I would love to send you home, we actually have to have a little talk.” *to me* “Have a great Christmas and I’ll see you when you get back!”

(When I got back my coworker had been fired for not showing up for his shift the two days after Christmas. He claimed it was because he put in for time, so he was going to take it, approved or not!)

This story is part of the Christmas In The Workplace roundup!

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Customer: “Can I have a hot chocolate but with coffee in it?”

Me: “So, would you like a mocha?”

Customer: “No, no, no! I said I wanted a hot chocolate with coffee!”

Me: “Okay.” *makes a mocha, and all is well*

(We have a program called MVP where you pay an amount and get movies based on which plan, and never have to pay for the movies at the counter while you have it.)

Me: “Hi, all set?”

Customer: “I have MVP!” *smiles proudly*

Me: “That’s great. I still need your ID…”

Customer: “But I have MVP.”

Me: “So do many other people, I need your ID to look up your account…”

(This went on for a moment more before she finally told me her phone number. Worse part? It was the third time she’s done it.)