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Small Fry Looking For The Big Wig

| Right | March 12, 2014

(A customer wants a blender.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We are sold out of those blenders.”

Customer: “Well the sign on the shelf says [special price], so I should get this blender for [special price]!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. It’s not the same blender as the ones that were on sale, and we are sold out of the blenders that were on sale.”

Customer: “This is just outrageous! Who can I talk to so that I can file a complaint? What’s your store number? I’m going to report you!”

Manager: *very professional, but now with sharper tone* “Here is the number for our customer service hotline. They’ll be happy to take your call. Our store number is [number].”

Customer: “No, I want to talk to your CEO!”

Manager: “Sir, this is the number that you can call to file complaints.”

Customer: “All right.” *takes number* “Yes, I want to speak with your CEO.”

(The customer walks away, talking on the phone.)

Me: *after a few minutes* “Yeah, my laptop crashed the other day, so I called Bill Gates. That guy knows customer service.”

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Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2

| Right | July 27, 2012

(I work as a cashier at a hardware store. A customer has had a problem-less transaction and is beginning to ring through purchase. She pauses after a few moments.)

Customer: “It says my card is rejected.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “What does the screen say?”

Customer: “It says ‘Take Card Out. Press OK. Try again.'”

Me: “Okay, so follow the screen.”

Customer: “So, what do I do?”

Me: “Take your card out.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Press ‘OK.'”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “…and try again.”

Customer: “Well, no need to explain it like I’m a five year old!”


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This Cashier Has Baggage

, , , , , , | Working | May 7, 2021

I am shopping at a large grocery store during the health crisis. Some cashiers want you to bag your own groceries, some don’t. Since there is no clear policy, I try to just watch what the cashier does and follow along.

This cashier has an issue with the register she is on and has to bring me over to another lane, so I can tell she is irritated from the start. She scans my items but collects them behind the plexiglass barrier so I can’t reach them to bag. I keep my reusable bags all inside one for easy carrying. As she bags, the other bags tend to expand out onto the counter and I can tell she is flustered by this.

Almost at the end of the transaction, the cashier mumbles under her mask to me. All I can catch is the word “two.”

Me: “Oh, yes. you’re right. I do have too many bags there. I could bring in just two next time to make it easier.”

Cashier:No! I said you could help by bagging, too!”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

By that time, she had finished bagging so there was nothing I could do. What did she expect me to do? Reach around the plexiglass to get the items and put them in the bags she had tucked away beside her, all while somehow keeping the proper distance between us? I realize she was irritated from the beginning, but she could have said something if she wanted me to bag my own stuff!

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This Customer Is A Godsend

| Working | June 11, 2014

(I’m at a convenience store. When I get to the register, I note the cashier’s name tag says ‘Saraswati.’ I’m slightly confused, because I understand the name’s history, but the cashier doesn’t appear to be of Indian ethnicity. Nonetheless…)

Me: “Hello, Goddess.”

Cashier: *stops scanning items and looks at me haltingly* “Why did you call me ‘Goddess’?”

Me: “Well, your nametag… Isn’t that the name of a Hindu Goddess?”

Cashier: “You’re the ONLY person who’s ever known that!”

Me: “Heh. It does confuse me a little. You don’t really look Indian. One of your parents..?”

Cashier: “No. I’m not Hindu. My parents just named me after the Goddess for some reason. I’m still just baffled. Lots of people have asked about my unusual name, but you’re the only one who’s ever known about it without an explanation!”

Me: “I’m flattered. Take care, Goddess.”

Cashier: “You, too!”

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Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

, | Right | March 21, 2014

(One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

(I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

(The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

Customer: “It’s still cold!”

Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

Not The Cream Of The Crop

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