A collection of all-time greatest hits!
(My dad’s birthday is five days before mine. We are having some of his left-over cake the day after his birthday.)
Mom: “We’ll need to go and pick up a cake for Sue’s birthday.”
Dad: “What for? We still have plenty of mine left.”
(Mom got me the cake.)
(My dad has a habit of jokingly saying ‘You moron!’ to me and other people when they can’t hear him.)
Dad: “I should get a license plate that says, ‘You moron’, so I don’t have to say it. I’d spell it U-M-O-R-A-N.”
Me: “Dad, ‘moron’ has two O’s.”
Dad: “M-O-O-R-A-N?”
Boyfriend: “Oh! I just thought of an amazing way to kill a Vulcan!”
Me: “Oh?”
Boyfriend: “It could mind meld with you. It would see the way your mind works and it would either just explode or kill itself later.”
Me: “I think that would happen if one looked into your mind.”
Boyfriend: “Illogical!”
(My boyfriend and I are having dinner at home.)
Me: “Do you want a napkin?”
Boyfriend: “Okay!”
Me: “I’ll get you one too then.”
Boyfriend: *after I get up and walk a couple of steps* “Thanks. I needed one but didn’t get up or say anything because I knew you were going to get one soon.”
Husband: *via text message* “I miss you a metric ton. That’s 1000 lbs of missing you!”
Me: “No, it’s not.”
This story is part of our Metric System roundup!
